From dawn to dusk...

Yesterday was a rather hectic day for me.
Wait.
Rather sounds rather mild.
It was downright busy.
From dawn to dusk...

First up, my darling decided that enough was enough.
I've pushed her too hard.
I've been neglecting her, spending less and less quality time with her.
She sensed my waning love.
I don't go down on my knees every alternate days while exploring her various curves and corners no more.
I never whisper sweet nothings to her anymore, just getting in and bailing out.
I seldom run my fingers lightly all over her no more.

She had enough.
And exacted the best revenge she could.
She refused to start.
Yes!
My darling car refused to start her engine yester-morning.
I was running late.
I was desperate.
I cajoled, I pleaded, I beg, I kissed, I fondled, I opened her up, I pressed hard, I prayed, I did almost everything imaginable.

But she refused to start.
And the best part was: I parked diagonally behind both my brothers' cars = cannot use also.
KNNBCCB!!!
Of all days I chose to park in such bizarre manner it must be this day that my car refuse to move!!!@!!@!

SIGH.....................................

Comedy moment of the morning:
Me: Eh Daddy ah, why not we try to push the car out, afterall, the driveway is sloping leh...

Dad looked at the car, turned around and looked at me.

Dad: What makes you think we can push it?

I looked at the car, I looked at him.
I grabbed my bag and started running out to catch a cab...




Oh another note, here's what happened in the office....

Justin doing a great impersonation of a vampire when confronted with a middle finge... I mean a holy relic.

Da Jie with her owe-$-pay-$ look.

Spence just sitting there having a what-the-f*ck-the-cup-is-doing-between-my-legs look.

After lunch, it was off to the Asian Civilisations Museum!
I love Training Day....

Some snapshots of the ACM...

A flood of pictures showing the different exhibits on display...




The guided tour was but part 1.
Some of the more adventurous/ less shagged personnel went for a 2nd tour around the museum.
As for some of us..........

Steven giving a I-don't-really-give-a-flyin-f*ck look.

One looking bored, the other really bored and making funny faces.

My favourite. A collection of me cam-whoring.

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Managed to get the haircut before meeting with Horny and Da-sao.
It was initially a session to finalise Operation Hong Kong + Macau with maybe a movie thrown in. There was only a fatal flaw in the logic: It was a Friday.
It was as if there was a portal somewhere that somehow opened up in Orchard to deposit hordes of demons and what-nots.
The whole Orchard Road was friggin' packed!!!
Seeing the futile resistance in trying to purchase tickets for good seats for the recent blockbusters, we decided to just assuage our hunger and leave the rest of the programs to later.

Us @ Big O and WineBos(yes we shifted there for drinks after grabbing Kevin Wee. It was also at the point of time when meine handphone decided to give up the ghost and remain comatose for the lack of power.)

Comedic moments of the evening:
1.

Me: Hey Mr Horny, help me carry my bag while I go try out my pants.

Hongni giving me an incredulous stare: Do I look like a friggin' boyfriend to you?

Me turned around and proceed into the changing room.

2.

Me: Ok now the pants are settled, I just need to look for shoes.....

Hongni whipping around in double quick time to stare daggers.

Me: On the other hand.... I can always do it another day.....

3.

Hongni: You have cash or not, if have then I pay first. (fishing out his DBS card)

Me: I got..... (while keeping my OUB card)

Waiter: Sir, if you pay using OUB card(Horny starts fishing out his UOB card) you can get a complimentary desser.....(waiter saw the UOB card, shut the fiack up, turned and walked back towards the counter)

Me & Da-sao: Wahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

4.

At Winebos, in the middle of a conversation between me, Horny and Da-sao...

Kevin Wee: Sir, I think you dropped your cork....

Us(stunned momentarily): Buhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

But nothing comes close to this:

Mudpie: The Dark Side
I give you.
The one.
The only.
The Way a mudpie like this(refer to picture above) should be eaten....






The IntroductionThe look of hunger, of desire.
The mudpie perched on the tip of the fork, balanced by a hand that was straining not to shove the oh-so-sinful dessert into the mouth.

The ComplicationThe eyes are starting to glaze over, the hints of euphoria creeping up on the face, the dessert meeting its slow but surely demise with stoic determination at the tip of the fork.

The Action
The eyes shut gently in anticipation.
The face a picture of concentration.
The lips, pursed tightly around the fork to sweep any remnants of the dessert into the cavern known as the mouth.
The hand, so perfectly perched in the form that it knows best. The form that means the smooth delivery of the dessert to the intended receipent, the mouth.

The Climax Eyes squeezed shut.
Face scrunched in the climatic moment of esctacy.
Hand is weak, devoid of strength, falling back from the perfect form.
Body is tensed with the dessert slowly rolling down the throat.

The denouement
A picture of Zen.
Need I say more?

Special thanks to:
Director: Alvin Tan Hongni aka Horny
Actor: Tim aka Timmy aka ME.

We present... a series of pictures known as: "The Dark Side in the Darker Side."

And I have to add this in:
No I'm not drunk.
Apparently Da-sao claims I look better if I don't smile.
What say you?

Birthday & Bowling...

Last Friday, my colleagues decided that it was only fitting to get the life and soul of the office(ie: ME) a birthday present in appreciation of the fun and laughter I bring to them.
They didn't explicitly mentioned these thoughts, but given my gut instincts, I shouldn't be far off the mark lah......

So this is what they bought for me:

What could it be?
What could be so cutesy that only a Hello Kitty wrapping paper is able to contain it?
Could it be.... a picture of me?
No, I figured. I have been called cute, but not that kind of cute.........
Then, it must be a..... soft toy?
Cannot be. I got Spence to keep me entertained in office liao...

Dammit.
I couldn't think of any other gifts.
Until... I caught a whiff of a familiar scent...

OMG!!! Is it really what I think it is?!?!?!??

Yes it was.
Durians.
Packed in a plastic container, sealed in a Ziploc bag, double wrapped with Hello Kitty wrapping paper.
Durians.
ZMG!!!

I was shocked, stunned but touched.
I could feel the tears welling up my eyes, almost ready to roll down my cheeks.
I sniffed hard, wondering why I almost cried.
And I realised it was the smell of the durians mixed with a liberal spray of Marks & Spencer over the package.
AH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We managed to smuggle the durians back to office, polluting a few lifts in the process.
But that was inevitable. Life stinks. More so durians.

The eventual consumption of the durians was no less brutal, for in our haste to terminate the durians, we left a hint of the durian scent floating in the office, claiming some victims through collateral damage; the most serious being the victim puking out her lunch. (SORRY Nana!!!)

Two lessons I've learnt from this episode:
1. Never try to punk my colleagues. When I said I wanted to eat durian for my birthday(as a joke!), they really went to get it. I was punk'd!
2. Never, ever, ever attempt to keep durians in the office. Everyone will be able to smell it. Even if you keep it in a drawer, under layers of wrap. The smell WILL escape. Trust me.

On another note, here's what I did on Tuesday afternoon:

Preparing to go bowling!!!

Some of the guys. From the serious to the act-serious to the busy and the not-shy-but-try-to-act-shy-one. Go figure which is which and who is who.

Me and Da Jie.
Dunch be deceived by her sweet and innocent looks, she's the only other lady I know who can shut me up with a stare.
(for those who wants to know, the other one is Pei Pei aka Lady Boss)

Team Sure Strike One!
From left: Sebastian aka Godfather, Me, Elvin aka Esther.
Missing in the picture: Cecilia aka Da Jie. (you can find her in the previous photo!)

Sorry for not having more pictures for this bowling day event.
Reasons being:
1. I was too busy
2. I couldn't be bothered to take pictures when the games started.
& most importantly
3. The camera ran out of battery >.<

And there you have it!
Birthday and bowling.
Now.... if only I could get my hands on more pictures for the bowling day.....

I remember, I remember...

I remember that I can't remember some stuff in the time period after I got off the stage, knocked some drinks and eventually having a moment of lucidity at Berd's house.

But I remember the shock in the morning.

Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter much anymore.

To all those who dropped me a message: Thanks. Really apprecicate it.
To all those who made me drop dead: Thanks ah. I know who you guys are, your turn will come. (don't need birthday celebrations to get drunk one yah?)

Happy Birthday to me.
1 year older, and hopefully one year wiser.

PS: Should be posting another blog about some of the crazier things that happened but now is not the time, nor have I the mood.

Hard to say it, Time to say it. Goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

I'm still learning how to say goodbye.
Hard to say it, time to say it.
Goodbye, goodbye.

The last time I checked, it was 101 in the morning.
The goodbyes are still in my phone,
the send button eludes me somehow.

I'll send her my goodbyes.
Maybe later,
maybe never.

I drain the last of my whiskey...

最長的電影...

13th June 2008.
Friday the 13th.

Goodbye,
Goodbye.

I never did get to posting this up.
The one about the meeting up.

I confess.
I didn't know what to say.

I tried.
But words escape me.
Fleeing because they cannot admit it.
They refuse to admit it.
That it was the Last Goodbye.

最長的電影.

我们的开始, 是很长的电影.
I guess the movie has ended.
For 12 years.
For 12 fucking years.
Ever since I caught you in my arms 12 years ago, you've been on my mind, in my heart.
That was the start.
Now this is the end.

I used to believe in The One.
And I used to believe it was you.
You were the Special One.

I used to smile the happiest when I saw you.
I really did.
From the bottom of my heart.
Not anymore.

We were always 2 parallel lines.
I was just too blind to see it.
I just thought that if I tried hard enough,
I could make the parallel lines meet.
Maybe there were times when we crossed somehow, somewhere, sometime.
But I never took the chance, you never took my hints.

爱是不是不开口才珍贵.

I never told you how I really felt.
I never told you that you were the first girl I cried for.
I never told you that you were the only girl I would do silly things for.
I never told you I Loved You.
I never did tell you I really did.

Maybe it's fate.
Maybe we weren't meant to be together.
Maybe we were meant to meet, not fall in love.
Maybe we were meant to be good friends.
And remain as that.
Good Friends.

爱我别走.

I got your message on 25th March 2008.

The romantic me would have said that the world came crashing down on me.
The practical me said that ok, congrats.
I didn't say anything.
Because there was nothing left to be said.
The wall is up.
The wall that I know that no matter what I do, I can never cross.
The wall that says: STOP.

I wish you all the best.
I wish you all the happiness, that no matter what you do, where you are, you'll be happy.
I wish that in another lifetime, in another timeline,
I can call you mine.

But know this.
Know this.

That what I said still rings true.
That you'll always have a special place in my heart.
That if you ever, ever need my help, all you need to do is call.

The end.
The end of me.
The end of you.
I thank you.
For showing me what love is.
For showing me what it is like to love someone.
For teaching me what is unrequited love.
For bringing me happiness in the little things that you do.
For letting me know what and how it was like crying over someone else.
For bringing a smile to my face whenever I see you.
For bringing out the cynical side in me.
For loving you.
Thank You.

Goodbye, Goodbye.

The longest movie in my life has just ended.
That's all folks.

15 days later...

It was late in coming, but sometimes, things just happen.
So what happened to the I'll post once a week thingy?
When one doesn't have enough time to sleep everyday, it's quite hard to find time to blog.
Anyway, here's what happened in the 15 days since I've last posted...

Durian Eating Session on Friday the 13th.
Straight after our Training Day.
Song Bo?!!??!?

Some pictures of Hastuty's wedding last Saturday.
Thanks for the invite Hastut, it was quite a good meet up session with Weising and Kim(his Gal), not forgetting Weitian the Bull.
And of cos, the bride.
Congrats.

I didn't believe it, but my bro actually went to get a PS3.
With ROCK BAND!!!!
No wonder I do go home more often these days...

Happy Father's Day!
Brought Daddy for dinner at Prime Society.
I liked the food, bros liked the food, but apparently daddy wasn't that impressed. :(

Me and Berd having a totally sinful Fish Drowned in Oil.
Don't ask me the proper name for this dish.

Lunch this afternoon.
My colleagues like to term this: Heart Attack on the way...

The only thing in office that keeps me from going insane (or as some of my colleagues claim keeps me insane...) SPENCE!!!

It's like 3.07 in the morning, I came back from a good meet up session with Kev, Rah, Cubsy in Vivo, not forgetting a short talk-cock/smoking session with Mel and gang.
And I have to work tomorrow.

How you like me now......................

Quote of the day

This happened on my way back to the office.

We were in a colleague's car, stopping for security check.
The officer waved for my friend, S, to get down the car.
First thing that the officer said was:

"Sir, can I check your behind?"

I must say, it'll be pretty hard to say no at that point of time.

---------------------------------------------------------------

On another note, I'm kinda excited about tomorrow.
Excited, with maybe a tinge of fear, regret and sadness.
But no worries.
All shall be revealed...

Operation MIA(Mok-In-APNN land)

Last week was draining.
Physically, Mentally, and Financially.

Remind me again why we decide to go Zouk on a Wednesday, when we have work on a Thursday, and a gourmet BBQ on Friday?
Oh yah, that was the plan for Operation MIA(Mok-In-APNN Land)

Our dear Regular Sw is flying off to the land of the curry-eaters for a good 6 months.
So how did we send him off?
With a BANG of course!!!

Well hello, hello!
I know sometimes, it looks as if drinks were Free. But I can assure you.
They're NOT.
Let's just say... we dig deep into our pockets sometimes.

Some of us mad clubbers at Zouk.
We have one man down.
Repeat.
We have one man down.

I present our newest invention: pucka-bag!!!
Cheap to buy, easy to use.
Just hook it over your ears, position the opening on the bag to the direction of the path of the intended projectile and voila!
You have a portable puke bag!

And we have the same man, same situation on Friday.
Gourment BBQ, but too bad, the lead was sloshed. Again.
Nvm Sw, wat 6 more months(or thereabouts) and we'll have another one for you when ya're back.
In the meantime, take care now, bye bye then.

PS: Will attempt to get more pics to show how kickass the BBQ was. Keyword: WILL.

Respect...

Respect: deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

I sometimes wonder if its just me?
But the way I look at it, kids (by kids I mean those corporeal entities that possess a biological shell that seem to do every and any stupid things and is less than what... 16 years of age?) nowadays have no f**king respect.
Not all kids though, I know of a few who are well-behaved, polite, courteous blah blah blah.
They do exist, but you'll have a better chance of finding a certain Os*ma than bumping into one of this rare breed.

But why?
Why this ranting and raving about kids and the lack of respect?

Because they simply have none.
I see them everywhere.
I see them cursing and swearing in front of the uncles who I play soccer with.
I see them ordering the more senior players with the tone one can orders a dog around.
I see them shouting at their domestic helpers(ie: Maids) in public, sometimes their own parents.
I see them talking down to the salesperson, and if they're the salesperson, speaking down to the customers.
I see them everywhere.

What the f**k is wrong with them?
What are the parents teaching them nowadays?
That it is ok to not be respectful to those elder than you?
That it is perfectly alright to shout/talk down to someone else because they are of 'lower status'?
Where's the manners?
Where's the "Please" and the "Thank You"?
Replaced by the "fuck"s and the "KNN"s?
I shudder to think what my parents would have done to me should these words even so much of breath out of my lips.
And I believe most of us are brought up this way.
To greet our elders.
To not curse and swear in front of your elders.
To not act high and mighty.
To be respectful.

I'm kinda confused.
Either I'm always at the wrong place at the wrong time,
or I'm in a wrong era.
Remind me to make sure I discipline my kid.
If, I do have a kid that is...

Whirlwind...

I sometimes wonder if there's an inverse relation between the things I do and the things I blog about.
It somehow seems like the more things I do, the less I blog about.
Lack of time, maybe?

Seems like it was a rather busy May for me, at least till now.
Failed St James outing, failed Zouk outing, drinking(alone) at Clarke Quay, working OT till the lights went out, birthday celebrations, suppers, dinner with Horny, Man U winning the title, mahjong, Texas Hold'em, window shopping, Harold and Kumar, Dota, bringing work home, department soccer competition, grocery shopping, soccer training session, lazing at home.

Too much of a mouthful to blog about.
Maybe I should attempt to blog at least once every week?

We shall see.

Boiler with RECCOS...

The last time I checked, we just finished drinking at St James.
It was a Wednesday, then a Friday.
Wait. That was last week.

This, was what happened a few weeks ago...

Presenting... RECCOS @ Boiler!
In celebration of the April babies who were spawned of the same day: Beng, Xw and Jase.

The gals and the boys.
Smiling, laughing, having fun, getting drunk.
To be more precise, getting the birthday boys drunk.

The first man down.
Name: Teck Beng aka Beng
Drunken traits: Quiet(more quiet than usual), Immobile (developed a rather comfortable sitting stance). Always grinning. Visible loss of balance and gradual loss of control over limbs. Higher Propensity to vomit (now this I personally vouch for it. 3 puking sessions in less than 45 min!).
Next up, we have our 2nd winner!
Name: Xuanwei aka Vegan
Drunken traits: Propensity to point(middle finger usually) and stare at us, a session of loud curses and swearing followed by a mellow, quiet period. Still retained perfect control of limbs though mobility was greatly reduced. Puke was a strange translucent brown liquid devoid of sediments.

Our next winner didn't take too long to follow in the footsteps of the other birthday boys.
Name: Jason aka Jase
Drunken Traits: Projectile vomit covering a wide area of damage. Loud but repetitive comments. Secret practitioner of 'Drunken Fist'. Total loss of control over limbs.

This winner was not. I repeat. Was not part of the plan at all.
Though some of us might have the slight idea that he would, by some bizarre means/method, get himself sloshing drunk.
Name: Berd aka Anaconda
Drunken Traits: Total loss of control over the lower limbs(he will ALWAYS be crawling around I have no idea why). Total disregard for exposure of undergarments. High volume of vomit.

A rather apt picture of how the night went.
Some of us drunk, some half-drunk, and the unlucky ones were the sober ones who had to take care of the drunks.
I suddenly question the wisdom of not drinking... much that night.
Till the next birthday party then...

The Sky's the Limit...

Had a most interesting talk with Berd da Anaconda this evening.
The verdict was brutal. But honest.
My weaknesses, my flaws.
Exposed. Laid bare. Straight up.
This time, I had to plead guilty for all charges.

The questions flooded the emptiness in my car on the way back.
"Am I that lousy a player?"
"Do the rest of them expect a lower standard from me?"
"I'm in the team because I'm committed to come down for the matches, not because I can do something for the team?"
"Do I have any more room for improvements?"

I find myself unable to answer myself.
I thought that passion was enough.
I thought that hunger was enough.
I thought that effort was enough.
I thought that this pass was enough, that tackle was enough, the clearance, though fall short of the target, was enough.
I thought....

You think I thought who confirm?

"I'll learn."
I told Berd.
But I'll go one up.
Like I told you, I won't take this lying down.
I promise.
Not to anyone else but myself.
I will become a better player.

Like what the lot stated, if I want to do it, the Sky's the Limit.

Let's do it.

PS: Thanks Berd, for being so brutally honest. I did think alot about what you said on the way back...

The Fantastic 4...

Dinner tonight was something in the making.
Reasons being:

1. I missed home-cooked BLACK PEPPER CRABS by my mummy to see these guys.
2. We've been planning to meet for the longest time but just can't seem to find an auspicious date to accomodate all of us.
3. It's the first time all of us are meeting after we started working.

Without further ado, let me present to you.... the FANTASTIC 4!

From left:
Timmy aka Human Torch: He's always burning up ciggys. Nuff' said.
Hongyi aka The Thing: He's not orangey nor covered in stone skin but he does possess a natural resistance to technology. (not anymore though...)
Jem aka Mr Fantastic: Being a lawyer by occupation, he has the inherent ability to stretch loopholes in contracts/arguments/what-nots into unbelievable proportions.
Yz aka Mr Invisible: Disappears during class outings but turn up for dinner/kopi sessions when you least expect him to.

We had dinner at some quaint dim sum place in Chinatown, upon Wong's recommendation.
And here's some pictures I took while waiting for Jem...

Yz with his "I-think-the-guy-is-trying-to-lao-gan-me" look.

Wong with a "my-last-picture-wasn't-a-good-picture-so-I'll-pose-for-this-picture" look.

Did I mention that we started eating while 'waiting' for Jem?
(To be fair, he did call and tell us to go ahead. Plus we were all hungry.)

Here comes the man.
Who wasted no time in devouring what's available. In this case, I would venture a guess that it was fried carrot cake.
At this point of time, I would like to point out that I have absolutely no idea what the heck Yz was looking at.
The last piece of har gao perhaps?

f the night.
Was supposed to be more, but the hardworking waiter cleared the first round.
Plus we had no more space. (Dammit yz, you were right. We should've taken the LARGE table...)

It's good to finally meet up again, after such a long long time.
But it's funny ain't it?
The last time we 4 met up(if my memory serves me right), it was at the Starbucks, in Holland V.
Us in shorts, tshirts, some in jeans.
Fast forward. Stop. To now.
Shirt, pants, shoes.
The typical working attire.
We were young once(not to say we're terribly old now...), and we were carefree.
Work, more work, salary, bonus(or the lack of it), prospects, route of advancement, aims, goals, decisions to stay or to go.
We don't just gossip anymore, about the whowhatwhenwherehow.

Tick tick boom.
Time's up.
We Cinderellas have to make a move, the (self-imposed) curfew becokons, quick, we must go. Now!
Such is the harsh realities of the working life.

I wish I could ramble on.
But the hands of time have moved on, past the singular vertical line denoting 0030.

Bed-time.
Goodnight world. And till the 4 of us meet again...

Missing Muse...

The man picks up his pen,
and put it down again.
The man powers up his laptop,
but stares at the screen.

The man is me.
And I seem to have lost my muse.
I.
Just.
Cannot.
Think of how to write anymore.

Strangely enough, it was ever since that day.
That day when that happened.
I want to speak but I can't find the words.
Things pressing on my mind but the only escape is the alcohol and the smoke and the games and the books and the movies and the everything.
Everything except the solution to the problem.

And I have a feeling it might be: you.