Dreams. Reality. Check

Sometimes, it only takes a moment for a dream to die.
Boom. Kaboosh.
That's about it.

Much as I shamelessly try to convince others(more often than not people like Kev, Snake etc...) and myself that maybe a certain 'dream' of mine is happening, or can happen, it is only a matter of time before it dies.
It just died.
Last friday.
 
So much for the I'll do this I'll do that. 
When it came to the crunch time, either I was 
1. too busy
2. to shagged
3. too scared.
*if you ask me, option 3 happened most of the time, with option 1 a close 2nd...

Finished.
The shoot for Zizi has ended. 
And so did my dreams. 
She's out of my life. (for now I hope) and its a near-impossible chance that I will get to talk to her, much less ask for her contact number and stuff.
And the sister you say?
There is a fine line between being brave and stupid.
Asking for her number on the risk of losing my professionalism(and my job) is just plain stupid.
Your friend, you say?
Bollacks.
That is absolutely insane. Not to say that it will totally turn the other party off.

So there.
I didn't get to get any contact numbers, signature, picture, yada yada.
All I got was a train full of memories in my mind.
And of cos a paycheck.

The other dream died when we(me and Kev) met up with JW.
Erbium?
Nah.. I don't think so.
I saw the instant death of the dream when he uttered the words:
"Basically I'm sick of that idea.".
We were too... I guess.
To a certain extent.
There were some times that we thought it might make it.
During the coffee sessions, the smoking sessions, the supper sessions....
We told ourselves, that if we ever start it, we'll make it to the highest and become the biggest.
In the end.
We just waited.
Look at us now.
All figures on different paths.
One following the need, the other following the riches, and the last one following his dream.
Am I sad?
Honestly I don't know.
I like what I'm doing.
But I'll do what it takes so that I can do what I like in the future.
It just that our dreams took a reality check.
And realised that it was found wanting...

How easy dreams die.
Just over the weekend is enough...