Don't look back in anger....

"Don't look back in anger, I heard you say."

-- "Don't look back in anger" by Oasis

Please don't look back in anger. 

Cos it won't be you. 
And I won't be me. 

I can do nothing but wait. 

I can say nothing but sorry.

I only hope its not too late...

The best of me....

I try to do the best in what I do.
But recently, it seems like the best of me is just not enough.

I'm really sorry for not being able to bring smiles to your pretty face. 

I'm really trying.  

Ode to an Ogre......

Once in a while, we come across individuals that baffles our imagination.
Sometimes these individuals are so awe-inspiring they spur us to become better persons. Like Superman, or Batman or Eric Cantona.
Sometimes the individuals are so shitty you feel better being normal as compared to their inadequacies.

The Office Ogre belongs to the latter.

Primary reason for being able to baffle my imagination: The ability to piss many people off at the same time!
I mean, it sounds easy, but can you imagine the sheer negativity this entity possess?
Sure I can piss people off, but not a lot of them at the same time?!?!?!
The most I can do is probably pissing some people off sometimes.
RESPECT.
Never since Barney the purple shit of a character have I seen another being that invokes the same amount of piss-ness.

Although people say that God (or whoever is up there) is fair.
But I guess he/she/it likes to play jokes on us mortals sometimes.
In my mind, the creation of the Ogre goes something like this:

There's a congregation of gods from various religions one day, and they decided to partake in the creation of foul creatures to be unleashed on Earth. Just for fun.
When it comes to the Ogre, things were pretty heated up, comments and suggestions were flying everywhere.......

G(God)1: Let's start with the body shape. It should be ridiculously large to invoke fear amongst the mortals

G2: Let's give it a face so ugly, the image will burn the retinas of those who cast eyes on its butt ugly mug!

G3: GIVE IT A VOICE SO HORRIBLE, A BANSHEE SCREECHING COULD WIN THE SINGAPORE IDOL. TWICE

G4: i'm trying to see how much i can blow his ego to......

G5: Let Me Reduce The EQ For This Abomination To See How It Can Survive...

And so, the Ogre was born.
A abhorrence so vile that to utter its full name will bring blisters to thy lips.
A being so pompous its speeches could power a wind-generator for 2 years
A cantankerous creature so disagreeable that if you put it in a room with a chair, the chair will move.
A detestation so stupid it is a crime not to arrest it.

And unfortunately, an office co-worker.
The only thing I'm thankful for is the chance to not work with it.
To me, the mere presence of it constitute a crime waiting to happen, although manslaughter won't stick on me since it's technically not human.....

Only saving grace of the Ogre: I have heard reports that he's intillige.....
Not when I hear shit like these:

Ogre: "The Bak Kwa here not nice one leh, doesn't taste like original..."
-Uttered while in Indonesia. No shit Sherlock. It's a friggin' Muslim country. End of story.

Ogre: : "My wife quite famous in M'sia one, she was the....."
- Guess what dipshit? She's famous already. For marrying the Ogre!

Ogre: "Those who become teachers now are those who cannot make it, pass without anything. Not like me, got honours then have this good job..."
- The last time I checked, I got the exact same job with a pass without merit! Good going you walking blowj*b! You just thrown away a year of your life to end up the same as me! Damn! I forgot you do not have a LIFE.

Ogre: "My parents speak English and dialect at home, and my mum speaks Malay with a tinge of accent..."
- Identity crisis. The poor souls are already unfortunate enough to have you as an offspring, now you're trying to say they have cannot speak Chinese or they cannot speak CHINESE. Oh wait, are they Chinese?

Loads more I can blog about but it would take me around 3 months to compile such wise gems of idiocy.
There's a lot more other things I can do with this amount of time... So I think I'll stop for now.

25 Random things

Many has wrote 25 random things about themselves, and seeing that my beloved bb has blogged 25 random things about me, here's 25 random things about my one and only love :)

Here goes......

1. She always wanted to learn drums. 

2. She took up some keyboard lessons last year.

3. She is one of the few ladies I know who can drive manual transmission without stalling.

4. She loses weight easily when she's stressed.

5. Her shoulder muscles are so stiff that I could stick a knife on her shoulder and she won't feel a thing.

6. She likes to smack someone (ie: me) on the forehead friggin' loud.

7. She is called "Er Sao" by someone nowadays

8. She doesn't like people to pay for meals all the time. She would prefer to go dutch. 

9. She knows taekwando so technically, she can kick my arse.

10. She has a bolster she loves to hug to sleep. More than me :(

11. She plays "Tower Defence" when she has nothing to do.

12. She would love it if I spend weekends with her. 

13. She is highly resistant to beer but hard liquor like whiskey and cognac will knock her out immediately

14. She always washes her face before she showers. 

15. She doesn't eat tofu. 

16. Her 2 nieces at home call her "Zhu Zhu".

17. She can be quite cold at work but warms up immediately after work.

18. She has the weirdest dreams sometimes.

19. She has road rage too.

20. She never manages to finish her food unless she's very very very hungry. Which happen like once every 2 years. 

21. Her husband must promise to bring her to see the 7 Wonders of the world.

22. She is quite scared of the cold, hence the need for me to bring a jacket everywhere. 

23. She loves Brad Pitt. 

24. She knows the person blogging this loves her alot (just in case one of the points she not happy about. Love love!!!)

25. As of now I think I'm still the one she loves :)

Everything that can go wrong, is going wrong....

Since morning, things are happening in shit loads.
Meaning: SHITTY things occur, refuse to go away despite my valiant attempts at clearing them, more SHITTY things happen = harder to clear......

Sigh.

The only right thing that's keeping me sane is you. :)

My bad.....

It was not part of the plan.

The initial idea of me drinking was to booster up the courage needed for the performance, and maybe a celebration drink. Full stop.
Things were looking good at the beginning, with the drinks meeting their swift demise down the throat of Timmy boy.
2 large cans of beer and some red wine perked me up.
The butterflies in my stomach seemed to have migrated somewhere else.
I was ready for the show.

10 minutes after the performance, I was having my celebratory drink.
2 hours after the performance, I was finishing up the rest of the red wine.
2 hours +15 min (thereabouts) after the performance, I was presented with a free bottle of red wine.
2 hours+30 min (thereabouts) after the performance, I was returning the remnants of my costume and bidding farewells to some colleagues.
2 hours+33 min (roughly) after the performance, the plan was scuppered. At this point, all hell broke loose.

I was spotted by my superiors.
Without a glass.
The next thing I know, I had a full glass of red wine in one hand, and a handshake on the other.
When I said everything happened in a whirlwind, it was not due to the fact that I was drunk.
There was literally a whirlwind of activities.
I was drinking, shaking hands, talking, being turned around to clink glasses, drinking a freshly topped up glass of wine which I distinctively remembered being emptied by me, being told to make someone drunk.

At a specific point of time, my mind went into overdrive to push aside the alcohol-induced fog of haziness and attempted to think in a moment of clarity.
There were several thoughts in my mind then, namely:
1. I was tanked up with a lethal combination of beer and red wine in a matter of minutes, and this combination is not funny.
2. I'm supposed to meet some colleagues at the Coffee Bean@ Paragon.
3. I was going to pick up my bb.
4. There were at least 3 bottles still left on the table.

A quick analysis of the above mentioned thoughts led to a conclusion: Escape.

I fought my way out of the orgy of drinks by repeating the mantra of: I'm meeting my friends and missus outside, so I need to go. To whoever that tried to stop me.
Luckily for me, it worked.

But I guess the damage was done.
For I can still remember the drunken ramblings and erratic behaviour.
The blurry vision and the unsteady gait.
The spinning world and the drooping eyelids.

I got sloshed.
My bad.

PS: Sorry for those who had to bear the brunt of my rather drunken and disruptive behaviour last night. I apologize.

PPS: Sorry to my lovely Boo who had to drive me back home and take care of me. So sorry that you had to do all these and then go home..... Heartpain.... :(

Measure of happyness...

How do we gauge our own measures of happiness?
Is it relative to somebody's else?
Is it pegged to that special someone?
Or is it just us?

I would like to think that we as individuals are able to measure our own doses of happiness.
But strangely enough, we are often tied to things or people that may or may not matter to us.
And the ironic thing is, these are the ties that we cannot and will not ignore.

Can we just try to look for the bits that make us happier?