Kissing a Fool...

It's evening.

"You are far
When I could have been your star"

Still in the office,
swivelling on the chair.

"People
Will always make a lover feel a fool"

It's dark outside,
seems like I was here just a moment ago.
It's dark already.

"Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So far
But please don't take my heart"

There're places to go, things to do.
But I can't help thinking.
Thinking about work, about the lack of work.
Love, and the lack of love.

"Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too"

Strange that I'm willing to stay here even though there's no more reason to.
Maybe this is my sanctuary.
When it's quiet.
When there's only me, the aircon, the iPod, the Powerbook, the speakers and the table.
Oh, and the balcony with the cigarettes.

"You must have been kissing a fool"

And the song plays on, and on...

New look. New beginning.

Finally got down to changing the look of the blog.
Been too busy and whiny recently, but fear not.
This is all about to end.

One more day!

Realised I never did had time recently to sit back and appreicate the finer things in life.
Until this morning.
Took a glass of coffee, draw out a stick of ciggy, and proceeded to balance my butt on the railing outside Maxwell Food Centre.
Just smoking, drinking coffee, and watching the world goes by.
No phone calls, no rush to get back to the office,
nothing.
If only such times would last....

After the dust, the shit, now comes the rain...

Big rain today.
Funny how after the dust has settled,
and the shit has been cleared,
the rain comes to clean up the mess.

Maybe if I look at it from another perspective, it signifies the end of this li'l chapter in my life,
and everything that's been said and done,
just washed away.

But if I look at it the way that I like to,
it just means that I shoud be curling up in my bed waiting for the raindrops to lull me into sleep.
Damn...

Phew....

Its finally over.
Well, not exactly, since I've got some accounting to do, but at least the shoot' over.
Everything was pretty decent, no major cock ups, earlier than expected wraps, and most importantly, I didn't die of exhaustion/heart attacak/suicide/over smoking etc etc.

Feeling just a tad lost, and a little proud of how all these turned out.
Guess everything will fall into place, sooner or later.

To all those people I have'nt seen in some time, this shit is over, I'm FREE!

So we'll see what we can do eh?

In the meantime, take care now, bye bye then.

- Timmy out

PS: But I'm broke, need to get my pay before me bosses fly abroad...... sigh :(

PPS: I'm in the office right now using my big boss' computer to churn this out. Planning to take a li'l nap before meeting the guys for soccer. I rock.

Thy doom is here....

Sigh......
Shoot starts in about... 12 hours time.
Am I ready?
Nope I don't think so.
There's still so much to do, so much I'm still doing.
But I'm learning.
Learning along the way.

And if I manage to pull this off by some miracle/divine intervention,
I might.
I just might.
Consider staying in this line for a while.

So here's to tomorrow,
and the day after.......

Wish me luck kids!

A note of apology...

Been too busy to blog recently.
There is just not enough time.
Having sleepless night. Everynight.
Now for those who know me(especially Kev and Jamesy), you guys should know that I fall asleep faster than I take off my pants.
Not anymore. Not for these 2 weeks at least...

Will attempt to finish all these shit, get my life back into track, and possibly blog about it when I'm done.

PS: On a more positive note, I might be getting higher pay!!!!! So it'll be worth it afterall

Holy crap!

Late night working is nothing new to me.
But late night working in da OFFICE?
Something that I am still trying to get used to.

Anyway I'm still in the office hammering out infos for the production book,
calling up people whom I've never seen before to 'book' them,
sending emails to people whom I've never met and will probably never meet,
drinkg Asahi,
and smoking Marlboro Reds.
My only regret is that I can't get any green shit. (for the uninitiated, its Vitasoy with Melon. Try it. Its good shit...)

I'm beginning to get used to the solitude of the office, the humming of the air con, the warm glow of the lights, and maybe.
Just maybe.
The satisfaction of getting a job well done.

Now back to work...

Something is not quite right...

Something is not quite right.
I'm told that I can go off at 3 something in the afternoon by my boss.
Frankly speaking, it somewhat freaked me out.
Is there something that I need to do later? Or did I miss something somewhere.
The best part is, he left the office. To me.
Hm..................
Something is seriously wrong.

I'm just waiting for the shit to happen.

Sorry for being such a cynic, but ever since I started on this job, early days are far and few(although when my producer was around I still can slack abit and come to office late...) and like what some of my friends said, I'm beginning to NOT LIKE my job nowadays.
I guess its true.
All this admin crap, the running around, the pandering to people thingy.
All these are starting to wear me out.
I can't even muster enough energy for shoots.
To me, they've become just another job(s).
I guess the 'magic' in all these have finally wore thin, or maybe my 'true love' is still shooting features and dramas.
TVCs, just a means of making more moolah.
Something that I realised I'm quite in need of.
How ashamed do you think I feel when I look at the bank account every week and see it hovering just above DEAD BROKE, while some of my other peers earn like gazillion of dollars as compared to me?
Even my arguments with my parents are wearing thin. I can't speak up to them with the same conviction when I first started out.
And best of all, I'm still living off them. In a way. (since I've not been contributing to any household income....)

Maybe.
Maybe its time to search for greener pastures.
To take this as an experience, where I got to see, hear and feel alot.
And got to know a few decent people along the way.
Worse come to worse, this industry can always be my Plan C/D.(Plan B already got liao)

So here's to an early day, an insipid verbatim and an utter lack of direction of what to do next.

PS: Me using the office Powerbook to blog. And I must say: I thinketh I've fallen in LOVE with thy Mac!!!!! So I'm going to set up a Please-Buy-Timmy-A-Mac fund. Doners will be rewarded with a fuzzy feeling in their mind and heart akin to the sensation of being cheated/lao-ganed, works like w*ed! Everytime!!!!

PPS: I might be tempted to steal this baby during my last day of work. Muhahahahahahahahahah!!!

Work work work...

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
-- Edgar Bergen (1903 - 1978), (Charlie McCarthy)

Somehow I have to agree.

Was bitching in the car with Jase about work.

Or the fact that we now have to work.

Reminiscing about the good ole' uni days can really bring tears to one's eyes.

How often do we get 3 - 4 years of our lives deciding whether the early morning lecture was more important than the Breeko breakfast, or the places to hang out once lessons are over(or skipped in my case), staying over in school to do an essay halfway only to end up having prata and coffee miles away from the laptop and the books.
The list goes on.

I guess at this age and time, its kinda impossible to not work.

But can I have my life back again?

I don't think that this is the aspect of our lives that we are comfortable in.

But we're trying.

Trying to adjust, to adapt, to get used to the fact that the responsibility is on us now to bring the bread back to the family, no matter how small it might be.

I understand, but I can't seem to digest it.

I guess I'll have to bear with it for quite some time.
But in the meantime, I'll try not to work too hard.
Don't wanna take the chance of overworking.

PS: For those who are interested, I am going to be quite the freaking busy from now till the end of this month. If everything happens smoothly, I'll be a happy man. If not, then I'm a dead man.

Home Club-ed, Butter-ed Factory, Ghim Moh...

Pub crawling, disco hopping. Whatever you call it.
Home Club, Butter Factory.

Had a few drinks knocked into me.
But I couldn't find it in myself, nor anywhere, to mix around, to socialise, to talk.
The music roared on, the lights spinning, the crowd dancing.

I was just immobile. In a corner, wondering why the f**k I was actually mad enough to appear.

The dim lights remind me of your bright smile,
the next song an indication that time has passed while I was missing you.
Texting was just a pathetic attempt at trying to talk to you.
I guess I failed...

I left early, to seek solace in a place, a place full of friends, sofas, and a tv showing 22 men chasing after a ball...

Chance meeting. 'Chance' meeting...

"Are you mad?!?!? Its the highway!!! How to meet??!?!? Unless you stop at the road shoulder lah!!!" -- Timmy

"Let's just try it." -- Jamesy

And try we did.
The stage was set. TPE.
The timing was to be confirmed. Minutes before point X.
The mode of communication. SonyE mobiles.

Off we went.

The exit signs went past in a blur.
The road was straight at times, winding at others.
We sped down the first part, peering intensely at the passing signs, till we saw the crucial one.
Kev hurried his sms-ing, punched in the numbers and spoke: "We're at Jalan Kayu exit liao."

I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, the detailed reporting was obvious though.
Kept to a speed of 80, and at times, a dash of speed putting me at 90.
The timing was to be perfect.
"It's only one exit from mine to the Tampines one", Jamesy warned.
My heart started racing, the hands were steady, the foot, firm on the pedal.

"I'm reaching the exit", Jamesy reported.
"Tell him we're reaching...", Timmy managed to shout out an update.
The chances seemed higher now, with both sides nearing the designated rendezvous point.

"Do you guys see a bus?!?!" Jamesy probed.
"Yah we see a bus ahead of us" Kev reported.
"I think I see his van" Timmy exclaimed with a measure of optimism.
"Is the bus in front of you no. 3?" Jamesy pumped.
"Wait we can't see, too far in front of us liao..." Kev recounted.
"It's his van!!!!!!!!!!!" Timmy trumpeted.

The van slid into the empty space behind bus no.3, and the Tim-mobile.

We made it.

The Reccos Chronicles, Part 5c

Next post is up again.
Damn I'm starting to miss Paris...

Reccos Chronicles, Part 5, 5b...

They're up. Paris, Paris and more Paris...